I Hate Him For Not Hating Me
by Hayles45
Summary: One-Shot: After Farmboy spares her in the Arena, Whisper flees into the forest. She's dying, and she knows it. As she waits to depart from this world, she reflects on her life and how a certain Farmboy has always been there. She hates him... or does she hate herself? Please R&R! Rated T for angst.


The rain pelts down, drop after drop, only to be interrupted by the occasional clatter of thunder. I don't mind. It could be raining fireballs, and it still wouldn't stop me from getting away from here.

The Arena. The scene of my darkest hour.

I can feel the rough sand inside my clothes, making me scratch and itch as I scramble down the worn dirt path which leads into the forest. Blood is staining my hands as I clutch my side, trying to prevent any more spilling out of the huge wound that has been inflicted. Just like the crimson pools that spilled from all those opponents I faced.

Well, _we_ faced.

Damn Farmboy. I had one chance to prove myself to my brother: prove to him that I can be a Hero too. And Farmboy has to ruin it. Just like he always has.

My heart is beating at an incredible pace, and I'm finding it harder to keep my footing as I begin to stumble, leaning against a nearby tree for support. Taking in a big gulp of air, my breath hitches in my throat sending me into a violent coughing fit. The blood is flowing faster now, and I'm losing the strength to keep pressure on my injury. I need to get healed soon, or else I might die in this accursed place.

Would it even matter if I died? No, I think not.

I had to be stubborn, and now it's too late to go back. I refused the Arena's hospital: I just wanted to get away from there. Avo, I'm fading fast...

I hate him. I hate him for what he's done to me. He's always been better than me: stronger and faster. Sometimes I wished he would just let me win for once, but no. Farmboy doesn't lie down for anybody.

Everywhere I've gone in life, he's always been there. Always been there, outshining me in every possible way. I just wanted to be noticed... just wanted to be appreciated...

Now, in my dying moments, my mind travels back to that first training session in the Guild. The way my heart was racing as my brother watched me spar, only for me to fail miserably. I've never forgotten the disappointment in his voice, as he stared deep into my eyes and told me I was 'all wrong'.

Thunder: the great champion of the Arena. My brother; the only family I have left. I have nobody else. I've always been in his shadow, as well as Farmboy's. All I ever strived for was to impress him, to become a great champion and prove him wrong. To prove to him that I can do something right.

_That's all I've ever wanted._

But my dreams were continually crushed by Farmboy, with his amazing abilities and apparent gift at being a Hero. I almost admired him, in a way. To just be in his presence seemed humbling.

No... I hate him. _I hate him._

I'm sprawled across the floor now, my blood staining the dirt beneath me as a lone tear slides down my cheek. I have no strength left. I've had enough.

I don't know why I expected any different. I've been kept at the bottom my whole life, shunned by everyone around me. If I had known how my life would've been all those years ago on my parents' sinking ship, I think I would've just stayed there. Ended it before it had a chance to begin: to save myself the heartbreak.

I tried. I tried _so_ hard to be a Hero. I guess it wasn't enough.

Well, I guess this is it, Whisper.

My vision is blurring, and my breathing is ragged. Farmboy should've just killed me. Stupid Farmboy. I hate him.

I hate how he doesn't hate me.

He never has hated me. But I've hated him.

I hate myself. I hate myself for being so horrible to him, and yet he's never said a word wrong to me. I deserve everything that's happened to me. Maybe the reason he managed to defeat me again and again was how he dealt with his hatred towards me?

But he doesn't hate me. He's...

...

...he's the only person who has ever been there for me...

...

...he's my only friend...

...

...I hate myself for hating him...

...Farmboy...

...I wish he had killed me...

My eyes begin to close and I can see a bright light, it's rays calm and peaceful. It's over. I don't have to worry any more. Nobody will miss me.

Farmboy might. I suppose I've always been his only friend too.

I wish I hadn't been so horrible to him. I wish I could've been as good a friend as he was.

I'm so sorry, Farmboy.

One final bolt of pain surges through my body, and at last Avo takes me.

And then it's all gone, and so am I.

I hope you won't hate me, Farmboy. I... I don't hate you... not any more...

I'm so sorry, Farmboy...


End file.
